I went to Carrot Cottage yesterday. No, it’s not a carrot-shaped house, but it is rather lovely. Got the name I think because someone used to grow carrots in the garden. The Carrot Cottagers have two cats (Jimmy and Luna) and a dog (Joey). Whenever anyone calls, the conversation always gets around to cats vs dogs as pets. Who’s cleverest, who’s silliest, who can jump highest, run fastest, do the most tricks. Well I know who I always vote for in the dog vs cat debate: dogs… because I am a dog.
Dead mice for tea
We’ve already met, but in case you’ve forgotten, let me remind you that I’m a sweet little black, spikey-haired Cairn terrier. A breed which humans say make great pet dogs. Of course we do. Oh I know pet cats are fine too… if you like something that spits, scratches and brings dead mice in for tea.
Daft animals cats. I’m so glad I’m not one of them.
Pushing the boundaries
My best friend Izzy comes from a family of German shepherd dogs and I love him to bits but he doesn’t come Carrot Cottaging with me. It’s too far for him to travel. And he doesn’t drive. So I play ball in the garden with Joey instead. Joey’s a big yellow Labrador, too soft for his own good. He does everything he’s told to. He doesn’t have a stubborn streak like me, always does what he’s told and is horrified when I suggest pushing the boundaries.
Take yesterday, for example. The front door at Carrot Cottage opened and he caught me looking longingly outside.
‘You’re not allowed out there,’ he sniffed.
‘Who says?’
‘You’re just not.’
‘Well I’m going to.’
‘You can’t’
‘Watch me.’
Enjoying the freedom
I sneaked out when none of the humans was looking and went happily roaming around the village. Singing away to myself, wagging my tail, enjoying the freedom.
Suddenly, I became aware of footsteps approaching from behind. I was being followed… and sniffed where you wouldn’t want to know. Nice.
‘How doo..’ The voice was a deep, dark brown. Its tone was rich and mellow. I turned round and came face to face with the most fabulous big, macho Staffie you ever did see. Sex on legs, he was. Made me all dewy-eyed.
‘Hello.’ I fluttered my curly lashes.
‘Name’s Oddball… what’s yours?’
‘Soo…. oo…zee…’ I managed breathlessly. He was such a hunk.
‘You new round here Sooz?’
‘Er, no… just visiting… you?’
‘Yeah. I live over there…’ When he pointed out his house I noticed a cute little white patch on his undercarriage. Wow! That dog was such a turn-on. ‘Wanna go for a walk?’
‘Oh yes… pul-eeze…’
Setting off together, paw-in-paw
We kissed and cuddled, then set off together, paw-in-paw. Aw, it was unbelievable. Oddball and me, moseying round the village like we’d known each other all our lives. Real soul-mates. We were just about to get together properly (if you take my meaning), when …
‘Oy, you two.,’ Our beautiful canine thoughts were interrupted by a human voice bellowing across The Green. ‘Where d’you think you’re off to?’
‘Nowhere,’ lied Oddball, when he’d just offered to take me into the orchard.
‘What’s up?’ I managed
‘We’ve been rumbled.’
‘Wh… what…?’ My ears went flat. My tail dropped. Oddball grabbed hold of me and we started to run.
‘Come back here, you two. Sit, Oddball… Sit, you little tart. And leave my Oddball alone…’
Just call me ‘beauty’
I didn’t like being called a tart and even if The Man didn’t know my name, he could have just called me ‘beauty’ or something…
‘Hey, you… I said SIT.’
Okay, okay. No need to shout. I plonked my bottom on the edge of the pavement. Side-by-side we sat like a pair of dummies, letting Oddball’s human put leads on us and walk us back to where the houses were.
He guessed I’d come from Carrot Cottage because the humans there are always entertaining… cats, dogs, other humans…
Oddball insisted on coming in with me, making sure I was all right. With tears in our eyes, we parted company. But not before swapping mobile numbers, e-mail addresses and promising to keep in touch.
Jimmy and Luna took one look at us going our separate ways and laughed their socks off.
Cats are so cruel, aren’t they? Beastly creatures.
As far as I’m concerned when it comes to the cats vs dogs debate, the answer has to be dogs. No contest.
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Hey waggie tail! you sound a real doll, but in my line of work only cats will do, dogs tend to fall of the broomstick, will fly down your way very soon and check you out, meanwhile, look after your mistress, and stop dragging her through hedges, if you were a cat, you could fly her over them! i rest my case, xxx